http://www.ajpmonline.org/article/S0749-3797%2811%2900327-8/abstract
Yet another study that tells parents to back off. I often think about this on playgrounds, where I always back off so that Theo can have a social experience with other kids. The results seem obvious to me since I see first hand that the kids with hovering parents do not get as much exercise ('let me help you do everything!') and do not play with other kids. Also, those particular parents seem to think their kids will really hurt themselves if they don't have a hand on them, telling them what to do at all times. Maybe if they stepped back, the kids would effectively learn about being cautious while exploring in a free and imaginative way in this kid-friendly place. Theo took a few short tumbles, ran into bars, etc. He never really hurt himself, but most importantly he learned caution, tested his limits safely, and can now quickly judge when something is beyond his ability and avoid it or ask for help. I read my kindle at the park, knowing that he will be fine. This only happened because I let him find out for himself the consequences of his actions in an appropriate environment. Sometimes a little discomfort can go a long, long way towards maturity. Parents can stunt a child's physical, emotional, and social growth when they don't know when it back off and stop manufacturing every perfect moment for their child. What do you think?? I remember whole summers of running around with neighborhood kids with only a few elderly neighbors, usually sitting on the porch mostly ignoring us. We turned out okay i think....I want to emphasize that I keep regular times and events throughout the day where I do constructive activities and enforce discipline consistently no matter what the situation, but free play without adult interference is important for development. Besides, how else could I get all my house work done, cook, take showers, etc...I call it fostering independence!
The "professionalization" of parenthood - doing it by the book lends to parents a feeling of need to hover...instead of doing it by the book, parents trusting their instincts who enjoy the journey may let go with joy and allow the learning by doing! Now that's the way to enjoy your kids childhood...with the few bumps and bruises along the way.
ReplyDeletespeaking of professionalization.....i was a professional in early childhood education for almost a decade with a degree in the same....and i can tell you that the children i worked with learned better when they had regular chunks of free play, at the playground and in the learning centers that were geared toward reinforcing the weeks lessons. almost half of the 4 year olds could write sentences before they left and read sight words, not because i drilled them all day. i was careful to instruct them after free play when i could see certain groups were ready. i was available throughout the day and would pull the kids in when they were ready, in addition to our whole group learning times. i hope our education system can find a way to adapt to learning through play and re-institute gym and playground time, arts, and music. they all matter in brain development and learning.
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